Pivotal time in life?

I know that most of my posts are about exercise, food, motivation, etc. and I don't often get into a lot of my personal life, but this week seems to have become a very pivotal time in my life so I feel compelled to write about it.  I knew all these events were coming and yet, I didn't realize until today how important they all really are.  

My oldest daughter, Lindsay, and her wonderful guy,  Andrew, got married on Saturday and it was beautiful and touching.  My son, Erich officiated and did a wonderful job.  Everything went smoothly with no problems on any front.  It was great, even the weather at this outdoor wedding in the park.  I am so very happy for them.

My youngest child, Kari, left Tuesday morning for Honduras.  She is so brave and amazingly adventuresome.  I admire that in her and wish I was stronger in that trait.  Who knows, perhaps I will become more so. 

My oldest child, Erich and his wife, KT, bought a house and had the closing this week.  They are now officially homeowners and as Erich puts it, "able to make the rules."  He grew up hearing, "When you live in our house you live by our rules; when you have your own house you get to make the rules."  He has proudly pointed out that now he (and KT) get to make the rules.  Ha!  I love that guy.

Wow what a week!  I've always considered that my job was to prepare my children for the future, to get them ready to leave home, and to live on their own.  They have been taking steps toward that all along and now, wow.  Huge steps for all of them and all within a four day window of time.

Now I plan to start focusing on new goals for me.  What will they be?

• Spanish classes finally?  I've talked about becoming fluent for so long I'm sure no one will ever believe this one.  
• Re-working a tight budget to travel to Honduras soon?
• Start training for a fall marathon?  Do I want to do another full marathon or are half marathons a better fit?
• I certainly have things like picture albums, etc. that I could do.  But I don't hear them calling me just yet.  

Hmmmmmm.  Seems it wasn't so long ago that I was thinking, "when I have time I want to..." and now I have time and none of the those things sound appealing any longer.  But I haven't decided just yet what DOES sound appealing.  Any suggestions?


Seems this is a pivotal week and I need to do some deep thinking.

Memorial Day vs Memory Day

As I think ahead to this holiday weekend I find myself bombarded with memories that touch both ends of the happiness scale.  I am saddened at the loss of my Grandma this past year, but happy when I think of her easy to invoke laughter.  I am soaring with joy as we celebrate my daughter's graduation, but it is tempered with both pride and sadness as I am reminded that she'll be leaving for two years in Honduras soon.  

Suddenly it feels like Memorial Day isn't just about those who have already passed on to God's abundant life, but also about the events and people who have been in our lives and who have made us who we are today.  

Perhaps not Memorial Day.... but Memory Day.  Hmmmmmm - food for thought.


Bacher out.

Biggest Loser comments and thoughts

I am tuned in to week 18 of the Biggest Loser.  They have sent the final four home to their families and are recapping their original weigh ins in front of their friends and families.  As I see their emotions as they went from pre-weight to current weight it brings tears to my eyes.  I can relate to much of what they are feeling.  My pre-weight and subsequent loss was not as dramatic as theirs, but the emotions of success and having a new life are still very real and fresh for me.

They have to run a marathon as their final challenge.  They are learning how to eat in their "at home" world.  Healthy food, healthy recipes, portion control.

"This is about you, it's not about them.  Let's get out of here and get an early day in the gym."
"Once you decide you're worth it, you can do it."
"Once you ask for help you'll get everything you need."

One of the contestants struggles with eating at night because he is stressed out or worried about something.  He realizes what he's doing but has a hard time stopping nonetheless.

My life is very different than it was five years ago in many ways.  Healthy food and exercise are priorities now.  Today I walked for an hour in the morning with a friend and then rode my bike over 13 miles in the afternoon on the way home from work.  But I also sit here and fight eating because I'm bored, lonely, tired.  Like the contestant, I recognize what I'm doing, but still fight it.  For a long time it had gotten much easier, it is a tough period the past 5 months.  Why?  I don't know, but I'm fighting it and I'm not giving in, because I've worked too hard to get here, and I enjoy my new lifestyle, body and healthy choices.

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

Bacher out.

Being In Control

I think feeling that we are "in control" of what we are eating is a big deal to most of us.  I know it is to me and this past week I am feeling much more in control of what I put in my mouth.  I'm remembering to ask myself, "Are you hungry?" and I'm doing MUCH better about not eating for the sake of eating in the evenings.  I actually went to bed feeling a smidge hungry the other night!  Haven't done THAT in a long time.

Oddly enough when I'm in control of what I eat, I also feel in better control of other areas of my life.  So which comes first - control in life or control in eating?  The chicken or the egg?  Perhaps it's just an overall mindset and general feeling, kind of like an internal compass.

I'll have to ponder that one for awhile.  Thoughts anyone?

Filling the Emptiness

Today is Easter Sunday and it was a very good day.  Church, family, friends, a walk in the sunshine.  It was a good day.  Pastor Greg was talking this morning about the empty tomb and that often we try to fill the emptiness in our lives with "stuff".  Alcohol, shopping, drugs, etc.   As he was saying those words, my friend who was sitting next to me and I looked at each other and smiled, because for both of us, it's food.  And we both know it.

I've always said that knowledge is power.  So does knowing that food is my crutch, my so-called drug, my sometime frienemy, make it any easier not to use it as such?  Sometimes.  To be completely honest, sometimes knowing helps and sometimes it doesn't make a smidge of difference.  At least that's been the case in the past.

I'd like to think that recognizing what I'm doing and facing it WILL make a difference in the future.  This is the first that I've been this brutally honest about it, and I think it will make a difference in the future.  I have to face the issues that are really causing the feelings of emptiness and learn to deal with those.  Then the rest should fall into place.

I'll keep you posted.  In the meantime I ran 18 miles yesterday training for the upcoming Cellcom Marathon.  It went better than I anticipated, but I was glad when we finished.  Only a little over a month until the event - it'll be here before I know.  I think we have two 20 mile training runs and a couple scaled back runs between now and then.

Bacher out.

 

Biggest Loser comments and thoughts

Comments on tonight's Biggest Loser that I liked.

"I'm tired of being emotional about my weight.  It's time to do something about it."

"It's the gym!  Wow it's the gym.  Oh, dear Lord... it's the gym"

"26.2 miles!  Are you kidding me?"

"Being one of the two teams that goes home is not an option."

Stand up and finish what you started.

If you don't do what you need to do....

Don't let things get the best of you right now.



A drive thru diet at Taco Bell?  This was a commercial that was on during the show...get real!

I don't know about you, but I cannot imagine losing 30 pounds in ONE week!  Keep it in perspective my friends that this is their full-time job while they are there.  That's all they do is live and breathe what they are telling them to.  In real life it comes off slower and that's okay.  Just make sure you have realistic expectations for yourself.  Then stick to it and persevere!

Let's do it!

I Get My Moxy From Fern

As I type this my 91.5 year old Grandma Fern is laying in hospice.  She has been strong in spirit, mind and body until a couple weeks ago when she had a stroke.  Then a week later she had a seizure and another stroke and now there is no hope for her recovery.  They are doing everything they can to make her comfortable and there has been family by her side 24/7 for the past 10+ days.

Grandma Fern is the type of woman everyone wants for a Grandma.  She is kind, intelligent, has a good sense of humor, is a hard worker, gives great back rubs, makes an awesome fish fry, (northern and walleye caught by Gramps from Pelican Lake) always looks like a million bucks, is a devoted Packer fan and has been known to gamble here and there.

By example she has taught her daughters, granddaughters, and great-granddaughters how to live and love.  (I'm sure the male types in our family learned a lot too, but this is being written from the female perspective today, sorry guys.)  I was in my early 20's before I realized that not all mothers and daughters got along!  My grandma and her daughters should be the poster family for how to do it right.  I have nothing but deep respect for all of them.

My grandma is not a complainer.  She likes to shock us with a funny "zinger" when least expected and make everyone laugh.  Even now, laying there and fighting for breath for over a week and barely a moan or grumble from her.  She's a fighter.

I'm not sure what her image of heaven is, but Grandma thinks my Grandpa has probably found someone else up there.  We all know better.  They were married for over 60 years and he's waiting with his arms wide open for her to arrive.  The best is yet to come.

She's got MOXY, and I'm proud to say that that's where I get my moxy from.